thirsty

today it snowed, and yesterday it snowed, and all last night it snowed, and it's snowing right now. i got home to mom's house after leaving the new home tony just moved into because that new place is still so strange to me. i stood in the street in my boots and coat, and the snow was falling so slightly it almost might as well not have been snowing at all, but even those few, small flakes had filled up our city. and it was cold, but i felt the urge to sit in it, or roll around in it, or just run through it. the streetlamps burned, and my car was full of gas, and sometimes i feel so lost. sometimes the realization that the world is everywhere and it's just such a big place, and i could walk and keep on walking, or drive and keep on driving and be in some place completely new and different by morning, and what's stopping me. and i'm blocking thoughts before they form. and who am i exactly? i don't have a memory like my father's to help me define who i am. sometimes in my head there is only snow, and streetlamps, and a thirst for blindly picking a direction and then running.

engagments sneak peek

our house has been kindof lifeless lately, what with sickness and busted up knees and working late and having no energy for christmas, so i'm the only one who's really excited about this right now, but the cd with all of our pictures from the engagement shoot monday arrived in the mail today.

so to make up for the deadness, here's a big YAY!

i think they turned out splendid. i don't feel like uploading the whole shebang tonight, so here's a sneak peek:


(click for pictures too big for your screen)

katana? why yes, i have some of those.

um, yesterday my mom took me to out and bought me some fancy pots and pans and some fancy knives. i really need to get some pictures of them up here because they are sweet! i never thought i could get excited about cookware. as it turns out, anything can be exciting when it's yours. seriously though, you've got to see my knives. we opened them all up today and i cut a red bell pepper with one of them, and oohhh man. it is so gratifying to use a fresh-out-of-the-box sharp knife.

now if only we had a house to put them in.

the pots and pans are nice too. they're big ol heavy things that could definitely put a burglar on his back (and yes, that was one of the factors i weighed while comparing sets.) plus we got a couple of free ones and two $50 gift cards for spending so much dang money. bed, bath, and beyond may simultaneously give me claustrophobia and vertigo, but sometimes i love that store.

sales are good. joann's just ended a pretty great one yesterday, where vogue patterns were only $3.99, plus i got half off 3 yards of fabric that was normally 10 bucks a yard. it's a deep delicious purple stretch cotton sateen, and i should probably get pictures of that too because you all'd thank me.

and the best news of the weekend? tony was ordained an elder today. one more awesome milestone of his spiritual progression, and now we're one step closer to our temple sealing. sometimes it's hard for me to wrap my head around what all this means and the sheer significance of it all, but i know we're on the right path and doing the right things, and i'm sure one day i'll truly appreciate all the good stuff that God is giving us.
right now we've got our eyes on the wedding date, and i kindof think we're holding our breath. not because it's going to run away or anything, but for me at least i plan on letting out a big sigh of relief once we're finally married and then really get to work on setting up our life together.

right now it's a lot of planning and detailing and preparing for the actual wedding, while also trying to keep the marriage part firmly in focus. it's exhausting. it will be nice to have the wedding out of the way and to have one less thing to worry about.

one small step forward

i finished designing our invitations today!





i debated whether or not to post a picture, but i figure not too many read this anyway and it's just a crappy cameraphone picture, so i'm not risking much. :) but i am excited and wanted to share.

i painted the design with watercolors and did all the wording with micron pens (i totally know you're impressed), and it's all on watercolor paper. i'm going to try and solicit some photoshop skills from a friend to help clean it up a bit and get it properly jpegged so i can go and have them printed. the idea is to have the inserts hanging from the main invite, instead of shoving a bunch of loose stuff in an envelope (or worse, stuffing things in multiple envelopes all stuffed into one big envelope.) i'm going for simple and user-friendly.

when i get them printed and sent out i'll post a much better picture.

woot!
love kayla

what's your favorite cezanne?

i'm pretty sure it's one of those days. like if you were to ask a medicine woman or someone who knows a lot about numerology or something, she would say "oh yes, december 4th - the numbers say this is a very risky day. stay indoors and pad your walls and under no circumstances should you get out of your pajamas." i think this because work today was full of tired, whiny, clingy children and tired, grumpy adults, and on the way home i passed several car accidents, and i had to return to the art supply store a total of 2 times after my initial purchase after having made it all the way back to my car only to discover i 1) forgot to buy something i specifically went there to buy and 2) forgot my keys on a shelf. the girl who worked there was all kind and customer-servicey about it, but i'm sure she was thinking that i must be a really big ditz.

anyway, since it was apparently one of those days, i decided to skip doing anything vital and important like dressmaking at home and instead went straight for the xbox to unleash some pent up bad juju on unwitting zombies. (rest assured, about a billion zombies were harmed in the making of this film.)

driving in winter is just bad anyway, even on normal days. even in salt lake city, where cold, dangerous winters are the norm, where you'd think drivers would know how to handle icy roads and stuff. but somewhere between may and october i guess everyone just forgets because there's still a lot of transportative carnage on the roads during the winter months. but things get pretty evened out i guess because i still love driving at night around the holidays. i love christmas lights. i totally dig them this year. they're just so magical and sparkly and make me feel like covering everything with silver glitter when i get home. our family was never too big in stringing up a lot of lights or even decorating much at all, but i'm pretty sure i'm going to be one of those holiday decorator moms. i'd really like my kids to get in on all that pizazz.

i hope everyone's having a happy and safe holiday season so far. don't forget to not drive like a moron, especially during and directly after snowstorms. if you plow into my car i'm going to take back the well wishes i just wished you. now i'm off to finish my soup and take a steamy hot shower.

goodnight,
love kayla