Saturday, October 17, 2009

me vs the man

do you ever feel like once the ball of your life starts rolling it's very exciting, but it's also sort of scary because you realize that it's rolling in directions you weren't entirely planning on and even some you were sure it never would and you never wanted it to? wait, let me skip the timid passivity and rephrase: i feel like once the ball of my life started rolling it was very exciting, but i'm also sort of scared because i'm realizing it's rolling in directions i wasn't entirely planning on and even some i was sure it never would and i never wanted it to. i really don't feel quite as negative about it as that sentence may sound, but this is something on my mind. i'm not a cookie-cutter person. i've never liked doing things lots of other people liked doing, partly out of choice and partly because i just don't like them. things like reading harry potter or enjoying high school musical, wearing my hair with the bangs all pinned straight back from my forehead so it makes that "bump" on the top of your head, wearing coats or shoes, going to nursing school, attending "ward game nights" to play awkward social games in a room full of single people dying to get a date, dating lots of guys in general... i'm not comfortable in those situations for a variety of reasons, but mostly because they don't feel like me. i'd rather read non-mainstream fantasy novels and enjoy watching fiddler on the roof, wear pigtails and go barefoot, go to college for art and piano lessons, skip school to play "axis and allies" and drink whole bottles of sparkling cider with my highschool buddies and fall in love with my friends rather than date people i don't know.
you know what else i don't like? cookie-cutter houses. and those brand new neighborhoods that don't have any trees. and beautiful homes with brand new everything, that people always decorate with pre-made cutesy wooden signs and fake ivy and those jars full of vinegar and vegetables that would be cool if your grandma made it but isn't because you bought it at target. (p.s. i do love target.) okay, so maybe it's ridiculous and too critical and a little harsh. but my favorite homes growing up were the little old brick ones, ones with actual ivy growing in the cracks and unevenly plastered walls in the inside, with faulty swamp coolers and old plumbing. ones in old neighborhoods with sidewalks all broken up by the roots of the enormous trees lining the streets. i like being in the heart of the old suburbs; not in the butt end of the valley where the sun shines too hot and colorless and everything smells like drywall and wal-mart.

please, just give me an old house with some character, and some kindred spirits nearby.

however, that ball keeps rolling, and if i let it get away from me i'd be lost and sad. so sometimes i might have to suck it up and do something i hate. i might still be sad, but at least i wouldn't be lost.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

etsy noms


weddings are bad for me, i've found, because i get too excited about the details and end up staying awake until 1 am browsing etsy for the perfect hair accessory or what have you. and kittens are bad for me because they wake me up at 7:00 by playing with plastic bags on my floor and, well, here i am back on the computer, browsing etsy.
the browsing has been a success, though. i made my first ever etsy purchase last night, which is saying something because i've been an avid etsy browser for quite a long time. you should see my favorites list. i just couldn't pass these up. because they're whimsical and adorable and perfect and only 18 little dollars for two tiny things i could make myself, but sometimes i don't WANT to make everything myself. other people are really really good at making stuff too! it's my DUTY to support the small business artisan.
anyway, this is what i bought:

they're cake toppers! how cute are they?! i didn't even run them by tony first; i loved them so much and they're just quirky enough to be perfect to top my ideal wedding cake. but, if he doesn't love them then that's okay too, we'll find something else and i'll turn these babies into hair accessories or something. i'll probably do that anyway if we use them, after their cake-topping purpose has been served.

finding those made me happy. i'm also looking for the perfect peacock feather fascinator to wear in my hair. i've found several i really like, but haven't made a decision. i guess it's a decision i could leave until it gets closer to the wedding, but like i said, i'm excited and love planning the details. if i could turn over all the big-time stuff like venue finding and funding, photographer booking, materials and decorations purchasing, food preparing -- basically anything that involves forking over money -- to someone else, and just focus on shopping for other wedding things like weird cat-shaped drink stirrers,

amazing lego cufflinks, sure to please any traditional wedding party,

gorgeous shawls to wrap myself up in,

and...diaper bag tags? these came up in a wedding search, which i don't understand. maybe "wedding" in another language means "ensuring the return of my diaper bag in case of loss", or maybe it's just to dress up the diaper bag you'll invariably be carrying around on your wedding day.

i don't know, but it's cute too so i'd probably buy it.

unfortunately i can't shirk all the less-exciting stuff to pick out all the essential little details. we're meeting with a photographer on tuesday who i really like, but then last night i found another photographer who's several hundred dollars cheaper who also isn't bad. picking a venue hasn't happened yet, mostly because all the places we've looked at are several million dollars to rent for 3 hours on a saturday night, so it's likely we'll just hold it in a church cultural hall which i vowed never to do but which is looking increasingly appealing because it's free. i'm waiting for my dressform to arrive so i can begin work on the wedding dress, and i need to plan some nights to invite a bunch of people to do slavework for me by helping me embroider and bead all the flowers for the reception and all the bouquets and boutteniers, and to assemble invitations once we decide what those will be.

my wonderful sister kari is in town this week though for me to harass with all my ideas and whining.

people have been telling me how short of an engagement tony and i have given ourselves, but it feels like a long time still.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


okay, so first off: i'm a terrible blogger. i don't even want to go back and check the date of my last entry cause it would make me feel too shameful.

second off: sorry.

third off: i am temporarily converting the purpose of this blog from being solely an arty-crafty blog into a weddin' blog, because, well, I'M GETTING MARRIED! woot. so aside from facebook and real life, my friends and family will get to see the whole process documented here, whilst i continue to type and talk about it incessantly until no one really wants me to get married anymore cause they're so sick of hearing about it. and away we go.

before we truly begin, some stats.
1. the date is february 20, 2010
2. we'll be married in the salt lake city temple
3. we have no idea where the reception will be
4. the plan is to make my own dress, flowers, and invitations, but depending on how stressed and crazy i get as time goes on, that list may be reluctantly downsized
5. my dream for the reception is for it to be informal, non-traditional, fun, happy, and more like a big party than a boring 'reception'

i'll save topic-specific pictures and things for another post, hopefully tomorrow, but for now i'll leave you with some quickly-snapped photos (cause i'm a perfectionist?) of what my mind's on now. here's my precious, and my already fat planning binder to keep me organized. oh gosh, this is bad already.