crunchy leaf business

i can't believe leaves are already starting to fall. that's not to say i don't enjoy stepping on a crunchy leaf while walking the dog, but the winding down of summer makes me sad. i'm no friend of winter. we don't really get along. i don't like coats, i don't like having to wear shoes (and worse, socks), i don't like the hems of my pants being constantly cold and wet and dirty from dragging in the snow. i don't like spinning out on icy freeways and crawling out of a warm bed in the morning to a room so cold it should be frost-covered. i know some people really get into that sort of thing, but it's just not for me. i can admit, though, that fresh snow is very pretty.

okay, so winter's not exactly on our doorstep. it is a little chilly today but a week ago it was hotter than boys, and i'm sure the leaves i stomped on are just a pretentious few, maybe the ones at the top of the tree who are sick of getting all the sunlight and ready to get on with it and be done with summer. i just love looking forward to summer so much more than looking forward to winter. i guess i could try looking through winter and into next summer and try to think of the cold as a brief tempermental phase that weather is going through. like puberty. uncomfortable and awkward, and in a rush to be ignored.

my walk was enjoyable. i stayed home from church sick but the gentle sunshine and fresh air was too good to pass up. and the dog needs the excercise. my birthday was yesterday, and that always makes me thoughtful. it was a very good birthday. i remember a birthday a long time ago when i was 4 turning 5, and we lived in the small town with the man who yelled. i was alone in the basement, staring at my reflection in the glass door of a cabinet, thinking "do i feel so different than 4? what is 5 going to be like?" i tried to notice any changes in my face, any added wisdom in my eyes or length to my limbs. i tried to imagine being all grown up, having long hair and breasts, wearing big girl clothes like my sister and going to the mall with my friends - or whatever grown up girls did. i didn't know. my days were filled with barbies and pretending i was a horse.
since then, almost every year i find myself looking in a mirror at some point on my birthday, trying to notice the ways i feel different. (of course i always look the same as yesterday, but i take the moment to mark how far and yet how close i am from the girl in front of the mirror the year before.) it also helps me remember the 5-year-old me. i'd tell her having breasts isn't all that neat.

tired bloggy goodness

hello! i'm not dead. sorry i haven't been around much lately but my computer decided to lapse back into its coma a while ago, which kinda sorta killed my blogging mojo. not that it's particularly strong anyway. i'm trying! IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS!

i do have something i'm excited to share, however. i know most of the time i hint at great ideas i have and things i'm psyched about trying, but to fill all the extra time i have now that i don't have my own computation machine (f.y.i., i'm using tony's computer that he's got hooked up to his big ol' tv, which for some things i great, but a couch and low coffee table just don't quite rival the comfort of a computer desk and chair for me) i've been getting a headstart on an idea i've had for a while. if you don't know princess lasertron, you should check her out. do a google search for "felt bouquet" and prepare to go "aww" and "holy crap!" simultaneously. here's an example:

emmirite? she makes wedding bouquets for brides and adorable button boutonnieres (or however you spell that) and also has an etsy shop. i've more or less been drooling for months. i plan on getting married someday - and hopefully sooner than later - and tony and i and our parents don't have a lot of cash to blow on a wedding. and really, even if i could afford it i wouldn't want a fancy expensive wedding. it's just not my style. i hear flowers are expensive, and while i am a flower lover, i also love the idea of a handmade bouquet and it'll be cheaper and waaaaay cute. so i decided to take inspiration from princess lasertron and make my own felt flowers for the wedding i will eventually have. no, i'm not even engaged yet, but...who cares. i don't know, i don't really have an excuse. i just like planning.

here's a picture tony took of my progress so far.

it doesn't show the detail or colors very well, and these are mostly experimental and to get my feet wet, but they're a start. i've made several more since this picture and i'll be heading back to the fabric store for more felt in more colors. i'm not a fan of the light blue. i've decided on the colors in a peacock feather - deep, rich purple and blues with vibrant green and teal and turquoise. if anyone knows where to find a wide assortment of felt colors, please please please let me know. the selection at joann's and hancock's was rather disappointing.

more and better pictures (and flowers) to come.

because..tony just got a new camera. yay! he went straight up old-style and traded service for goods with a guy at the dealership; transmission labor for a fancy D80 nikon camera.

i guess we're camera junkies. now all we need are some photography classes and we'll be set.

okay world. sorry for the crappy post but it's all i got for the moment. with luck and hope i'll get my own dear computer back on board and i'll be valiant with my crafting and documenting in the meantime. groodnight.

love, kayla