how are your retinas?

if you're reading this, would you please let me know if the new colors are okay? if your screen settings or different than mine and you've been blinded, just put your fingers on the home row and tell me. i'm trying out some new colors to make the blargh look more interesting, but i don't want you to be uncomfortable.
when time becomes less scarce and i can move to typepad where i think i have more artistic freedom with my limited html knowledge, i have all sorts of cute blog designs planned. but until then i'm gonna make due with shenaniganing with the font colors.

thanks and goodnight!
love, kayla

i can't hug my sewing machine

words can't express how much i'm lusting after this little sewing machine.

yes, that's right, lusting. i am feeling crazy crafting lust for this adorable piece of goodness. i mean, i don't even know what i'd do with it, except cozy up to it at night and dream of other non-fluffy small appliances made fluffy.

here's the maker's, caitlin bell's, etsy, but the shop is closed for some reason. for you utah peoples, though, she'll be at the Beehive Bazaar in provo next week. i'm thinking of going, and not just to steal the sewing machine. i owe it to myself, don't i? i can sort of be considered a crafty person - but not if i don't go to crafty things like bazaars and meet other people who can be considered crafty. if anyone wants to go too, let me know. seriously.

break for cute!

taking a break from the dress to browse etsy (and also stand up for quality control. i.e. no i will not revoke my neutral rating for a neutral transaction. i didn't spend $50 for me to be dissatisfied and her to get a positive rating. the nice person in me says to forget it because it's not a big deal, but the smarter person in me says to stick it to her. for justice!)

anyway, here's some pretty for you to look at, and, you know, christmas is coming up, so...

pillow, wall hanging, and pin cushion from olive.

cool wooden earrings from carpedraco.

scarab beetle necklace from nouveaumotley.

back to work!

love, kayla

gotta get this wedding planned!

big busy weekend coming up! i have two goals: 1) finally just decide on wedding invitation wording and design and get a prototype completed, and 2) completely finish the first mockup of the dress. i know it's just two things, but i expect to be drained within like five minutes of getting started, because my creative energy usually depletes likes...well i can't think of an analogy right now, but the point is it goes fast. alas, things have to get done and i have to do them. (ignore the negativity because i'm EXCITED! just exhausted.)



i want to use this weekend to my advantage because on tuesday, my favorite extended family members + 1 are coming to visit, which is exciting not only because i LOVE them and haven't seen them in really long time, but because the + 1 is someone completely new and i can't can't can't wait to meet her.



xoxo times billions for that little dollface.

well, the boy just got home and i have to tell him about all the space pirates i fought today. see you monday.

love, kayla

3, no 4, things i love saturday

i'm totally ripping off this idea from a number of sources. i hope that's okay with you.

sometimes i don't have anything to say. or, rather, i have lots to say but when it goes into word form i lose something in the translation. i already know it's because of me and not the things i want to say, but anyway some things just cross over better with pictures. so let's nix the talk, and get on to some things i'm really loving right now.

(p.s. there were originally going to be 10 things cause that seems to be the norm, but i lost steam when dealing with blogger's stupid-small post writing window and how difficult it is to put pictures into a post. grrr.)

anyway, in no particular order, i love:

1.

textiles. pretty, pretty textiles. mmm.

2.

zooey deschanel. i almost hate her, she's so cute.

3.

adorable homemade stuffed animals, i.e. not lame-o mass produced storebought ones. (i especially love the whole mish-mashed cutesy vintagey fabric thing.)

4. the mall during the holidays.

i didn't think to snap a cameraphone picture of this today, but i was definitely loving the spirit of the season in the mall whilst shopping for engagement photoshoot details. there's something really special and happy to me about strolling down big mall-y hallways around christmas. it would have been better if my mom and sisters were with me. hopefully we'll all get to go shopping together closer to the big holiday.

this kindof goes along with #4, so i guess:

4.a - having the excuse of getting married to allow me to splurge on jewelery and new shoes. i LOVE getting new things, especially jewelery and shoes. i got big bright earrings (which tony says are too big, but what does he know?) and bold, colorful necklaces, and purple shoes. i. love. purple. i am now so excited to do our engagement session, until i start to think of what the heck tony will wear. i don't want to dress him up so he doesn't look like himself, but i don't want us to clash for the pictures. would it look bad if i were all colorful and he were in blacks and greys? must we be all matchy matchy?

here's a sweet wedding blog i found. i'm a little sad that all of my great blogging ambitions haven't really come to fruition yet. i wish i had the guts and know-how to make a cute, artsy, frequently used blog, but most of all i wish i had the time. maybe i've set my sights too high for now, and am lusting after a goal i have no way of achieving right now. with this whole wedding planning thing going on, i feel guilty if i spend my creative energy on things other than the dress and the flowers and the cake and the decorations and the photos. and the bouttonieres and the ties and the invitations. oh crap, the invitations!

oh and i have to plan my lesson for church tomorrow.

uhmm, what things do you love?

xoxo,

kayla

me vs the man

do you ever feel like once the ball of your life starts rolling it's very exciting, but it's also sort of scary because you realize that it's rolling in directions you weren't entirely planning on and even some you were sure it never would and you never wanted it to? wait, let me skip the timid passivity and rephrase: i feel like once the ball of my life started rolling it was very exciting, but i'm also sort of scared because i'm realizing it's rolling in directions i wasn't entirely planning on and even some i was sure it never would and i never wanted it to. i really don't feel quite as negative about it as that sentence may sound, but this is something on my mind. i'm not a cookie-cutter person. i've never liked doing things lots of other people liked doing, partly out of choice and partly because i just don't like them. things like reading harry potter or enjoying high school musical, wearing my hair with the bangs all pinned straight back from my forehead so it makes that "bump" on the top of your head, wearing coats or shoes, going to nursing school, attending "ward game nights" to play awkward social games in a room full of single people dying to get a date, dating lots of guys in general... i'm not comfortable in those situations for a variety of reasons, but mostly because they don't feel like me. i'd rather read non-mainstream fantasy novels and enjoy watching fiddler on the roof, wear pigtails and go barefoot, go to college for art and piano lessons, skip school to play "axis and allies" and drink whole bottles of sparkling cider with my highschool buddies and fall in love with my friends rather than date people i don't know.
you know what else i don't like? cookie-cutter houses. and those brand new neighborhoods that don't have any trees. and beautiful homes with brand new everything, that people always decorate with pre-made cutesy wooden signs and fake ivy and those jars full of vinegar and vegetables that would be cool if your grandma made it but isn't because you bought it at target. (p.s. i do love target.) okay, so maybe it's ridiculous and too critical and a little harsh. but my favorite homes growing up were the little old brick ones, ones with actual ivy growing in the cracks and unevenly plastered walls in the inside, with faulty swamp coolers and old plumbing. ones in old neighborhoods with sidewalks all broken up by the roots of the enormous trees lining the streets. i like being in the heart of the old suburbs; not in the butt end of the valley where the sun shines too hot and colorless and everything smells like drywall and wal-mart.

please, just give me an old house with some character, and some kindred spirits nearby.

however, that ball keeps rolling, and if i let it get away from me i'd be lost and sad. so sometimes i might have to suck it up and do something i hate. i might still be sad, but at least i wouldn't be lost.

etsy noms

*yaaaawn*

weddings are bad for me, i've found, because i get too excited about the details and end up staying awake until 1 am browsing etsy for the perfect hair accessory or what have you. and kittens are bad for me because they wake me up at 7:00 by playing with plastic bags on my floor and, well, here i am back on the computer, browsing etsy.
the browsing has been a success, though. i made my first ever etsy purchase last night, which is saying something because i've been an avid etsy browser for quite a long time. you should see my favorites list. i just couldn't pass these up. because they're whimsical and adorable and perfect and only 18 little dollars for two tiny things i could make myself, but sometimes i don't WANT to make everything myself. other people are really really good at making stuff too! it's my DUTY to support the small business artisan.
anyway, this is what i bought:



they're cake toppers! how cute are they?! i didn't even run them by tony first; i loved them so much and they're just quirky enough to be perfect to top my ideal wedding cake. but, if he doesn't love them then that's okay too, we'll find something else and i'll turn these babies into hair accessories or something. i'll probably do that anyway if we use them, after their cake-topping purpose has been served.

finding those made me happy. i'm also looking for the perfect peacock feather fascinator to wear in my hair. i've found several i really like, but haven't made a decision. i guess it's a decision i could leave until it gets closer to the wedding, but like i said, i'm excited and love planning the details. if i could turn over all the big-time stuff like venue finding and funding, photographer booking, materials and decorations purchasing, food preparing -- basically anything that involves forking over money -- to someone else, and just focus on shopping for other wedding things like weird cat-shaped drink stirrers,



amazing lego cufflinks, sure to please any traditional wedding party,


gorgeous shawls to wrap myself up in,



and...diaper bag tags? these came up in a wedding search, which i don't understand. maybe "wedding" in another language means "ensuring the return of my diaper bag in case of loss", or maybe it's just to dress up the diaper bag you'll invariably be carrying around on your wedding day.




i don't know, but it's cute too so i'd probably buy it.

unfortunately i can't shirk all the less-exciting stuff to pick out all the essential little details. we're meeting with a photographer on tuesday who i really like, but then last night i found another photographer who's several hundred dollars cheaper who also isn't bad. picking a venue hasn't happened yet, mostly because all the places we've looked at are several million dollars to rent for 3 hours on a saturday night, so it's likely we'll just hold it in a church cultural hall which i vowed never to do but which is looking increasingly appealing because it's free. i'm waiting for my dressform to arrive so i can begin work on the wedding dress, and i need to plan some nights to invite a bunch of people to do slavework for me by helping me embroider and bead all the flowers for the reception and all the bouquets and boutteniers, and to assemble invitations once we decide what those will be.

my wonderful sister kari is in town this week though for me to harass with all my ideas and whining.

people have been telling me how short of an engagement tony and i have given ourselves, but it feels like a long time still.